Ok, this picture has nothing to do with my survey. I just like having a picture, and we're just so doggone happy that Jared's bottom tooth *FINALLY* came out!
Here's my survey for the day--something I was talking about with one of my friends. I've been surprised to see how strong of responses people have to this topic. I'll post my thoughts later.
What do you call your in-laws? Did they want you to call them something different in the beginning? Why did you choose what you chose?
What did your in-laws call their in-laws?
When you have married children what will you want their spouses to call you?
Do you think there is regional/cultural variation in what people expect their sons & daughters in law to call them?
Do you think there was for our parents?
16 comments:
For quite some time I have referred to Jeannie's parents as WIFE'S MALE GENETIC CONTRIBUTOR and WIFE'S FEMALE GENETIC CONTRIBUTOR. Before I married their daughter I typically called them Sir and Mam. For years after the marriage I used there first names. As my hold on their daughter has gotten stronger I have shortened their call signs to WMGC and WFGC (pronounced wimgic and wafgac). I imagine as my delusion grows stronger their names will become even more creative...
Most of Jeannie's Brothers and Sisters in Law tend to use her parents first name, as do I when I visit them in the "real" world.
Really, the wimgic and wafgac could really catch on. They pretty much roll right off the tongue. I used to use "Bette" and "Brent" exclusively. Now I more often use "mom Stratton" and "dad Stratton" or their first names, which ever feels right at the time.
Maria's parents go by the latin Mama, and Papa. So I just jumped right in and use that. But to everyone else besides them. The inlaws. As for wimgic. Wow Val. Only you bro. Love ya.
My dad called my mom's parents Brother and Sister Child, but my mom called his parents Mom and Dad. I don't think that's as much regional as it is just their personalities. Jeff calls my parents Keith and Kathy, and I use John and Ramona- mainly because I got a talkin'-to once when I accidentally blurted out "Brother Watson!" early in our marriage.
I'll admit to a horrible fact now. I didn't call my in-laws ANYTHING for the first 2 years. After I got home from Iraq, i felt like i had somehow matured (or better, gained experience that made it ok) to call them by their first names. Weird the first time, but much less wierd than calling them Nothing.
Eileen wanted me to call her mom. Lloyd didn't care. I don't call ANYONE mom. kind of a hangup for me.
hope that was fun.
Sam,
I still call mom mom when she visits. What do you guys call her?
P.S. She visits us in order of her favorites...
Or in the order of how many drugs we consume!
Ok, here are my answers now that I have another minute at the computer.
I have never been able to call anyone else mom. In high school I spent lots of time with my friend Michele. Her mom noticed that I never called her anything and said that it was fine if I called her mom. But I just couldn't do it. I loved our mom dearly and that was what I called her--I could not give her name to someone else. Later, when I was married I knew (or thought I knew) that I "should" call my inlaws mom & dad. But I couldn't do it. Russ is the youngest in the family and I watched everyone else. One sister in law called them "Brother & Sister Ray!" I wasn't going to do that either. Eventually I started calling them by their first names. I don't know that they love it but they're also not the kind of people to get really riled up over anything.
Russ & I have been talking about what we would have a daughter or son in law call us. Neither of us want to be called "Brother Ray" or "Sister Ray" by our kids' spouses. And we would never want to put any of them in a position of feeling uncomfortable or like they don't have a way to address us. Additionally, our ward with has a pretty good amount of young student families. These "kids" move into the ward and call us Brother & Sister Ray, and we always ask them to call us Russ & Cindy, and they soon become our friends and we forget (mostly ;) that we are almost 20 years older than them. I would hope to have this kind of relationship with our kids' spouses. On the other hand, should they want to call us mom or dad I would also be fine with that. What I mostly want is for there to be comfort in the relationships that is not compromised by uncertainty about what to call someone!
I call my FIL Turd Fergusson, and my MIL Delta Bravo. Or just their first names. But FIL and MIL would also be primo. Jenny and I think first names be cool, and Cali does that alot anyway. Especially if she gets ignored. Too many mucho brains in there.
TURD FERGUSSEN???? I am laughing so hard I can't stop. I can't decide to hope thats his real name so ill know you didn't make it up or hoping its not his real name because that would have been just too horrible thing for parents to do no matter what their baby looked like at birth!!!!!!
Anyway. I called the PILS Mom and Dad for a long time because I used to be all about pleasing people. They didnt' really seem like mom and dad to me. I love them, but its definitely not a parent child relationship to me. When mom died I knew I didn't want to use that word anymore for anyone else. I call them grandma and grandpa now. It seems apropriate to kind of go along with what my kids are saying.
Don't worry Val Clooney, I was laughing at yours like looney too.
Cindy,
You must be a lot older than me to be wondering about what to have future children in law calling you! I figure I still have a good 5 to 10 years before I have to go there!
Since we see Bob's parents so infrequently, I really had 4 jor 6 years of calling them nothing - like Sam! Then I started using their first names - very uncomfortably. It sounded like "Hey NNNNNNancy, do you know where DDDDDDdick put that spooon?
I'm sure they thought their son married someone with a brain deficiency.
Now, though, I don't mind using their first names at all.
And sometimes using their first names is very satisfying.......
yeay andra, I bet
Andra--yes, I am a lot closer to thinking about having a son-in-law than your are to having to worry about a daughter-in-law! But it's also because boys typically get married quite a bit later than girls....
i think this has been my favorite post to read the comments in.
p.s. ben's father in law name comes from Saturday Night Live's Celebrity Jeporady (p.s. I still can't spell for myself). Thanks Ben.
Sambo, you are corerect, sir!! It was Norm MacDonald playing Burt Reynolds who assumed the name for Celebrity Jeopardy.
Trebec said, "And our next contestant, Burt Reynolds..."
"Uh, my name's not Burt Reynolds, it's uh.. Turd Fergusson."
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