Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables, by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
Avoid arguments about putting the toilet seat down by using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Remember: Everyone seems normal, until you get to know them.
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Daily Thought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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5 comments:
Oh thank you! these are so cute! I really love them. I like the pushing people down the stairs thing. Also the mouse trap on top of the alarm clock!
Man, theys funny!! And I knows funny!
Oh Ramona, I am LOL so hard! Those are really good! Russ's doctor has just put him on a low dose of blood pressure medicine, and I'm going to recommend your remedy instead. In fact we'll kill two birds with one stone--I'll let him hold the potatoes while I chop them, and that should fix his blood pressure!
Very good, I tried to read them aloud to Kate, but couldn't keep going due to the laughing.
I love the slinky one!
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